When I was growing up, our family rarely went to church, except for Christmas Eve and Easter.
We didn't own a Bible. We didn't listen to gospel music. I had not the slightest clue why Jesus died and rose again, and I doubt the rest of my family did either. We never prayed, never said grace before any meal, and God was simply never mentioned in our home. Not that we had something against Him, but we clearly did not give Him any importance or acknowledgment.
Despite that, I know that God never gave up on me, and I'm so glad about that!
Of course, He gave me plenty of struggles, as I now know they are part of His plan and He knows better than me why He has given me great joy in certain aspects of my life and sorrow in others. But despite the difficulties, I am certain that God is by my side and is the perfect Healer.
I haven't always known that, as I've mentioned. I lived my life my own way for a very long time with lackluster results. Until one day, I decided I should pray.
By then, I was in my late thirties, I hadn't gone to church in at least 10 years (not even on Christmas Eve and Easter as I had done as a child), and found myself in a hopeless situation.
I had lost my voice.
Not just for a couple of days but for good. Several years earlier, I had been diagnosed with a medical condition that made me lose my voice. I had gone through a few doctors and a few surgeries, some resulted in a little improvement and some in no improvement at all. Then, I found a wonderful voice specialist who treated professional singers and even royalty from overseas. He had the best credentials and came very highly recommended.
I was so thrilled after he performed the surgery and I finally had my voice back! It was crystal clear and what a wonderful feeling it was to be able to speak again! My little boy was just 3 months old and finally, he would be able to hear more than a whisper from me. I could sing lullabies, I could talk to him, play with him, it was wonderful!
Until a couple of years after that when, once again, my voice went away and I was down to merely a whisper. I could not even read him a bedtime story because I had barely anything left.
I went to my doctor and he performed surgery on me again. At least, I knew I was in good hands and he would give me my voice back as he had done a couple of years earlier.
But this time, my voice didn't come back.
I was in shock! I panicked, I worried, and I cried. But, not to worry, I was soon again on the operating table ready to have yet another surgery and this time, it would definitely be a success as my doctor would perform a slightly different procedure in order to heal my voice and the scar tissue on my vocal cords.
But, sadly, despite these two surgeries back to back, my voice was still gone with no sign of coming back.
I couldn't believe it! Here was the highest-skilled doctor in this part of the country, he had all the newest tools and used the most innovative techniques. Other doctors from all over the world come to him to get trained. I know he could give me my voice back, so why on earth couldn't I get it back?!
I was in despair. Everywhere I went, I had to bring a pad and paper and write what I wanted. If I stopped at the deli, I would hand out my order on a piece of paper. If I went to the coffee shop, I would write down my order as well. Phone conversations were impossible. Many times, I had to have my husband speak for me because people couldn't hear me. I avoided people and socializing in general. I couldn't be heard in busy places so I stayed home mostly and got together with my girlfriends at home or in a quiet corner of a coffee shop.
Little by little, I became filled with hopelessness. And that's when I started to think about God.
One night, I went to bed filled with despair. I just couldn't handle it anymore and since I believed in God (although I paid Him no attention), I knew in my heart that if I actually prayed to Him, He would hear me.
So, I began to pour out my heart to God. I told Him how sad I was to have lost my voice and not been able to get it back despite being treated by a very capable doctor. I remember telling Him that I knew everything I had was His, including my voice, and for Him to do with it what He wanted. I was surrendering. Tears flew down my face and didn't stop. I cried myself to sleep that night. Then I woke up the next morning and I felt at peace about coming to God. I knew it was the right thing to do.
Then I got out of bed and started getting ready for the day. I opened my mouth...
And my voice was back!!!!!
Immediately, I thought "God was here! He heard me and He healed me!". Everywhere I went, people were shocked and asked me what happened. I told them that I started praying! Ever since that day, I have been giving thanks to God for giving me my voice back. I know that He took it away for a reason, and I appreciate it so much now.
O Lord my God, I cried out to You, and You healed me. Psalm 30:2.
That was 5 years ago, and although I lost it again a couple of years after that, I went back to my doctor and it was restored again. This time, I didn't rely only on my doctor but I actually prayed that God would guide my doctor's hands and give him the wisdom to know exactly what to do. And sure enough, I have now been able to keep my voice for over 2 1/2 years, which is the longest that I have ever kept it after surgery without losing it again so that is a new record for me! I pray that I won't lose it again, but if I do, I know it will be part of God's plan and I will definitely depend on Him to be in the surgery room overseeing each move that my doctor makes.
I know God is the perfect Healer and there is nothing too hard for Him. We just have to stop counting on man alone for help and turn to Him instead. He has perfect strength and wisdom and power, and I am actually grateful that God took my voice away when He did in order that I could come to that realization and have a relationship with Him.
If you need healing of any kind, turn to God. You won't find a physician with credentials that come anywhere close to His!
Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. James 5:13-15.
May God bless you and heal you!